Drain

in dreams inside my head i walk upon
i kill the sun, i drink the sky
i never learn to fly
i fall apart every single time
and i fail and ache for eternity
i loose control, it always shows
i destroy and seek for answers that never have questions
i earn more pain and loose a frame of my mind where the dark always in me will remain
i give the moon my only smile and hide the stars in a shattered box
the only place where theres just no harm
and again i fail , and spill my blood on the ground
where it dries right away ..and then...i breathe again

trance

entre la multitud tu mirada y la mia simplemente cruzaron
mi mente se blanqueo en menos de un segundo
los tipicos saludos , los chistes de doble sentido
y luego desapareces
una insatisfaccion me surge
voy detras de ti
pocas palabras...todo me lo dices con la mirada
el tiempo se detuvo
me quede en el trance dentro de tus ojos
y en la oscuridad , en tus labios me perdi
y de repente solo la luna y tu estaban ahi
simplemente el misterio que siempre callas
cosas que solo me dices con tu silencio
como esa luna...
es lo que me hace querer acercarme mas a tu mundo interno
aunque sea solo por muy poco tiempo

Sehnsucht

And i desire yet i do not want
i ache and yet i do not feel the real pain
quite a contradiction inside my head
simple yet complicated
i ignore my senses yet they overcomsume me
i destroy everything around me yet the peace inside me
..contains me...
is beautifull and yet so horrible at the same time
hate and love all at once
just a simple thought..
and ironicly ..thats all i have..

The perfect drug - Nine Inch Nails

I've got my head, but my head is unravelling
Can't keep control, can't keep track of where it's travelling
I've got my heart, but my heart is no good
And you're the only one that's understood
I'd come along, but I don't know where you're taking me
I shouldn't go, but you're reaching, dragging, shaking me
Turn off the sun, pull the stars from the sky
The more I give to you, the more I die

and I want you
and I want you
and I want you
and I want you

you are the perfect drug…the perfect drug…the perfect drug
you are the perfect drug…the perfect drug…the perfect drug

You make me hard, when I'm all soft inside
I see the truth, when I'm all stupid eyed
The arrow goes straight through my heart
Without you everything just falls apart

My blood, it wants to say hello to you
My fears, they want to get inside of you
My soul, it's so afraid to realize
How very little good is left of me

and I want you
and I want you
and I want you
and I want you

you are the perfect drug…the perfect drug…the perfect drug 5x
you are the perfect drug…the perfect drug…the perfect drug

take me if you want
take me if you want
take me if you want
take me if you want

without you…without you everything falls apart
without you…it's not as much fun to pick up the pieces
without you…without you everything falls apart
without you…it's not as much fun to pick up the pieces
it's not as much fun to pick up the pieces
it's not as much fun to pick up the pieces
without you…without you everything falls apart
without you…it's not as much fun to pick up the pieces

15 minutes

i rize up
barely understanding what i speak
my thoughts intensify
my head becomes an open river
running over everything at its site
careless of what they think
i explode, loose my mind
all at once ,
just right when i taste the glory
i become a new me
then i fall
in a soothing air
it all becomes calm and quiet
i lack of words...become simply numb
the beauty of the silence out there
yet inside my head everything is still so loud
it goes by the sound of my heart beat
in the end...is all i can hear
then it all disappears
so i begin again,
till theres nothing left of me
untill the next day

:P

Inhale....exhale......feels so good when you can actually breathe
again , and perhaps start over...simple, but at the same time so damn twisted
i fell apart now im picking up the pieces
it becomes such a nasty little habit
even when you know how its going to end
you just continue all the way
it just feels good when your mind is clear again
and all that distracting blur is just gone
...next chapter please...

inexistente

...enciendo un cigarro...
todavia sentada en la cama...
te contemplo
como aun asi me siento tan vacia?
aun no sabes que junto a ti ya no estoy durmiendo
como es que mil veces te he recorrido...y cada vez mas siento menos
me pierdo en mis pensamientos mientras mi boca expulsa el humo que poco
a poco atrofia mis pulmones , lentamente sin dolor...por dentro muero
estas 4 paredes que poco a poco me encierran y me cortan la respiracion
como es que un lugar el cual tanto añoraba no hace mucho se vuelve el
lugar donde menos quiero estar
vuelvo y te contemplo
que rayos he hecho?
ya no eres mi debilidad
ese lugar en mi que siempre fue tuyo ya se ha vuelto oscuro
ese pedazo que me arrancaba para darte ya no es parte de mi
simplemente te observo y no reconozco lo que veo
...me marcho...
aun no notas mi partida....
recorro los pasillos que siempre anduve
el vacio en mi poco a poco me aprieta el pecho y me destruye
tengo que salir de aqui
ya tu presencia es inexistente para mi
esos segundos en que me pierdo en ti...simplemente se quedan ahi
no eres mas nada que algo fisico...momentaneo...algo que ya simplemente ...no siento
me imagino que ya notaste que no estoy junto a ti
ya es muy tarde....ya no soy parte de ti

End

...i give up...
the thought crossed my mind today
im tired...im just fed up
with everything, and everyone
i feel like i have no point here
i just want blur out of this life
i havent felt this way in years..
my head hurts so bad is going to explote
and here i am sitting just staring at the blank
...whats the fuking point?...
i feel like im loosing control
i have nothing to hold me down
i lost my stableness...just about now..i lost it
and i dont even know if i should cry for help
or stay here and rot
i dont know anymore
im lost in such a way not even myself can get out
i wanna end this

Road to perdition

i begin again my road to perdition
i run throught that exact same distraction i once thought i destroyed
i honeslty dont care anymore wether its a convienience or not
its always there waiting for me
death is no fear when i walk upon the dark pavement
its all about the risk
the edge
something i thought i forgot to do
well ill no longer care for me
ive had enough,
today, thanks to you
i realized its just not worth my waste of time
thank you
so that i can now continue my way to nothing
so that i can now stop attaching myself to something thatwill never be
so that you can quit your bullshit on me
your fukin games
ill continue now my road to perdition
where i forget my pain

inner thought

How i wish i could always be that ciggarette that you inhale
so that i could endlessly burn
and forever live in you

sin titulo

Ella que me observa, sin decir ni una palabra
como quisiera que me devolviera el alma
En la oscuridad, sola, la paz me falta

Ella que me observa, me corta con la mirada,
sin razon alguna desaparece de la nada,
inquieta te espero, me robaste el alma,
me quitaste el aire, me falta la calma

Yo que sueño, tu que esperas,
la vida me dara sorpresas,
y tu las cosechas

Ella que me observa en silencio me entierra,
vida que deseo,
amor que pierdo.

old stuff

this one was written by a friend to me,,, found it in one of my old
notebooks...thought id put here cuz i like it,

"If i could slip into your world, maybe then i could see
what you see, feel the way you do, but all's broken
and rotten
so i slip....
into the Void"


Raven

transpoiting

i become invisible
def from sounds around me
i feel the speed of the blood running throught my veins
i hear the slow beats of my heart as it shuts down
i feel no pain
black becomes the color that sorounds me
loneliness becomes my companion
i lost my wings
my back has the burned impure flesh of whats left of them
nothing is left
not shadows, nor lights
simple ashes on the ground that are blown away by the wind
the cold wind
she passes by so fast it cuts...reopening my wounds
all of this runs over and over again
turns into a sincronized dance i cant keep up with
but at the same time i do
untill i fade away..and reborn again

what ever

unbelievable how self involved you can be
apparently everything turns around you ?
im not going to be there to become part of that
i, like you have feelings , im no stone you can throw
so you can go **** yourself

seria eso posible?

como esperar que te comprenda si no me dejas cruzar tus barreras
no tengo intenciones tocar tus heridas , no me interesa lamer tus marditas llagas
simplemente quiero entrar, romper ese silencio eterno que siempre me impones sin preguntas
"siempre es lo mismo" me dices, yo no soy lo mismo
me juzgas y ni si quiera te sabes mi nombre completo
mis intenciones no son recojer tus mil y un pedazos
no estoy aqui para salvarte, no lo necesitas
de alguna manera quisiera ser parte de esa soledad que te rodea
seria eso posible?
entrar a esos profundos pensamientos que siempre callas
tejer esas telarañas que bajo tu alma guardas...

longing

once in a while , for a moment life just becomes meaningless
thoughts i sometimes quite dont understand slip throuhg my head
my mind is a dreamworld that not even i can understand
how can i expect you to do it
things that change, i never feel the same way
i always feel lost
it is simple beauty that distracts me
beauty i can never have only for me to keep
my lost unicorn
my so called "longing"
desires that inside me just break in to million pieces
because of that i loose
i always loose

...Take this bittersweet spell of me....

to you

this one is for you...you know who you are because you know the meaning of this song :P ( no romance involved just in case), you have becomed quite special in such short notice, "...just chill ok?..." lol :D










Nymphetamine





Lead to the river
Midsummer, I waved
A ‘V’ of black swans
On with hope to the grave
All through Red September
With skies fire-paved
I begged you appear
Like a thorn for the holy ones

Cold was my soul
Untold was the pain
I faced when you left me
A rose in the rain
So I swore to the razor
That never, enchained
Would your dark nails of faith
Be pushed through my veins again

Bared on your tomb
I am a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Come above unto me?
For once upon a time
From the binds of your lowliness
I could always find
The right slot for your sacred key

Six feet deep is the incision
In my heart, that barless prison
Discolours all with tunnel vision
Sunsetter
Nymphetamine
Sick and weak from my condition
This lust, this vampyric addiction
To her alone in full submission
None better
Nymphetamine

Nymphetamine, nymphetamine
Nymphetamine girl
Nymphetamine, nymphetamine
My nymphetamine girl

Wracked with your charm
I am circled like prey
Back in the forest
Where whispers persuade
More sugar trails
More white lady laid
Than pillars of salt
(Keeping Sodom at night at bay)

Fold to my arms
Hold their mesmeric sway
And dance to the moon
As we did in those golden days

Christening stars
I remember the way
We were needle and spoon
Mislaid in the burning hay

Bared on your tomb
I am a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Come above unto me?
For once upon a time
From the binds of your lowliness
I could always find
The right slot for your sacred key

Six feet deep is the incision
In my heart, that barless prison
Discolours all with tunnel vision
Sunsetter
Nymphetamine
Sick and weak from my condition
This lust, this vampyric addiction
To her alone in full submission
None better
Nymphetamine

Sunsetter
Nymphetamine
None better
Nymphetamine

Nymphetamine, nymphetamine
Nymphetamine girl
Nymphetamine, nymphetamine
My nymphetamine girl

Cradle of Filth

non existant

is nice to escape once in a while from ur normal life....disappear..while others think youre doing your normal chores you are actually suspended in space in a totally diferent place...great feeling, just to escape...become just non existant , unavailable for a few hours, almost as if you were dreamin away...always hoping that feeling would last forever...just you and the ocean...hehe...mission acomplished....

Pain

With every form you come,
you surprise me, hypnotize me
With every breath I take,
you're depriving, suffocating, choking
Now the time has come... when I tell myself,
there's nothing more I can take,
then you show me...
Will it matter right now?
if I'm already numb
Thats what you do to control me
So much sadness from me,
thats the way I feel
All the madness from me,
thats what makes you real
I don't want your pain
With every cut you make,
you expose me... 'cause you know me
With every bottle drink,
you can drown me, 'cause you fond me out
Now the time has come... when I tell myself,
there's nothing more I can take
then you show me...
Will it matter right now?
if I'm already numb
Thats what you do to control me
So much sadness from me,
thats the way I feel
All the madness from me,
thats what makes you real
I don't want your pain
With every form you take...
With cut you make...
So much pain
So much sadness from me,
thats the way I feel
All the madness from me,
thats what makes you real
I don't want your pain
So much sadness
So much sadness
Pain

-Stereomud-

??

ok one week your tellin me u need some air and the other ur all over me shootin fireworks and everything? make up your mind ! thank god i dont think bout these kinds of things too much or else i would of gone crazy...and if i coment about your adttitude you just avoid the situation and never know howto explain?, i was warned ( yeah i got the 'i told you so") if you dont ever get your mind straight how is it that im going to know what you want

free?

this you call free?
the fact that i 95% of the times feel like in a cage
with no exit door
thats free?
how everytime i speak up somehow i always fall down
and theres never anybody around to help me back on my feet
free you say?
that isnt a word with meaning in this world anymore
freedom of mind is barely existant
life in a eternal cage is what we get
few ..very few find out what free really means
the rest of us just stick to the word life instead

untitled

in between my worlds i lie
i have no idea what so ever of what will come next
i wonder , sometimes im even afraid
i live my life as if it was always my last day
and yet,
im never satisfied
never pleased , never full
never feel like a whole soul
but no one does
you never feel whole until u drop your last breath

..

i walk atound my room
never wonder , never speak
my air just becomes the smoke i inhale
i disapear
unexistant
trapped
how is it that these things bother me still
how is it that you become the only thought in my mind
how is it that i havent destroyed
i have no pain
you keep taking it all away
and at the same time , leave me with nothing..

unfinished , like what i write...

To see and not to see
mentally unaware of the sickness in my pain
selfdestructed and yet i never lack of passion
i dont feel yet i bleed
...i know..
keep on fighting against the world
...my world..
i dont know whats real anymore
im trapped behind bars in a whole in my mind
and in this fear i cant escape
feeling numbinly insane
i just never feel safe
it all destroys who i am , who i will be and what i always have been
...lost..
always somewhat found by someone else
every now and then healed and kept away
never the less , push and breaked
these little piece is all i have left..

..

This stranger walks by
and i have this urge to know
whats it like, whats it all about

strange attraction..something i didnt notice before
such beauty in a simple smile , such silence and yet no one can tell

somehow i wish i could get closer...yet i dont know if i could ever

...

Entre mis pensamientos de soledad ahi espero
silenciosamente algo que ni si quiera yo se que es
he perdido el sentido del tiempo
mi vida vacia tan vacia como un hoyo de interminables errores
incomprensibles, impredecibles
perdida en la noche oscura donde nunca tengo paz interna
donde mis sueños son siempre eternos y mis realidades mentiras
ahi...donde nunca me encuentran
donde la sangre dentro de mi se va perdiendo
donde el dolor es mi fiel compañero
hasta cuando?
hasta cuando seguire los pasos hacia la nada
hasta cuando cargare con estas cicatricez
ya el aire que respiro me pesa
ya mi cielo ni mis estrellas existen
ya la luna me ha abandonado y ha seguido un nuevo rumbo
hasta cuando seguire perdida
deambulando...buscando algo que no encuentro