15 minutes

i rize up
barely understanding what i speak
my thoughts intensify
my head becomes an open river
running over everything at its site
careless of what they think
i explode, loose my mind
all at once ,
just right when i taste the glory
i become a new me
then i fall
in a soothing air
it all becomes calm and quiet
i lack of words...become simply numb
the beauty of the silence out there
yet inside my head everything is still so loud
it goes by the sound of my heart beat
in the end...is all i can hear
then it all disappears
so i begin again,
till theres nothing left of me
untill the next day

:P

Inhale....exhale......feels so good when you can actually breathe
again , and perhaps start over...simple, but at the same time so damn twisted
i fell apart now im picking up the pieces
it becomes such a nasty little habit
even when you know how its going to end
you just continue all the way
it just feels good when your mind is clear again
and all that distracting blur is just gone
...next chapter please...

inexistente

...enciendo un cigarro...
todavia sentada en la cama...
te contemplo
como aun asi me siento tan vacia?
aun no sabes que junto a ti ya no estoy durmiendo
como es que mil veces te he recorrido...y cada vez mas siento menos
me pierdo en mis pensamientos mientras mi boca expulsa el humo que poco
a poco atrofia mis pulmones , lentamente sin dolor...por dentro muero
estas 4 paredes que poco a poco me encierran y me cortan la respiracion
como es que un lugar el cual tanto añoraba no hace mucho se vuelve el
lugar donde menos quiero estar
vuelvo y te contemplo
que rayos he hecho?
ya no eres mi debilidad
ese lugar en mi que siempre fue tuyo ya se ha vuelto oscuro
ese pedazo que me arrancaba para darte ya no es parte de mi
simplemente te observo y no reconozco lo que veo
...me marcho...
aun no notas mi partida....
recorro los pasillos que siempre anduve
el vacio en mi poco a poco me aprieta el pecho y me destruye
tengo que salir de aqui
ya tu presencia es inexistente para mi
esos segundos en que me pierdo en ti...simplemente se quedan ahi
no eres mas nada que algo fisico...momentaneo...algo que ya simplemente ...no siento
me imagino que ya notaste que no estoy junto a ti
ya es muy tarde....ya no soy parte de ti

End

...i give up...
the thought crossed my mind today
im tired...im just fed up
with everything, and everyone
i feel like i have no point here
i just want blur out of this life
i havent felt this way in years..
my head hurts so bad is going to explote
and here i am sitting just staring at the blank
...whats the fuking point?...
i feel like im loosing control
i have nothing to hold me down
i lost my stableness...just about now..i lost it
and i dont even know if i should cry for help
or stay here and rot
i dont know anymore
im lost in such a way not even myself can get out
i wanna end this

Road to perdition

i begin again my road to perdition
i run throught that exact same distraction i once thought i destroyed
i honeslty dont care anymore wether its a convienience or not
its always there waiting for me
death is no fear when i walk upon the dark pavement
its all about the risk
the edge
something i thought i forgot to do
well ill no longer care for me
ive had enough,
today, thanks to you
i realized its just not worth my waste of time
thank you
so that i can now continue my way to nothing
so that i can now stop attaching myself to something thatwill never be
so that you can quit your bullshit on me
your fukin games
ill continue now my road to perdition
where i forget my pain

inner thought

How i wish i could always be that ciggarette that you inhale
so that i could endlessly burn
and forever live in you

sin titulo

Ella que me observa, sin decir ni una palabra
como quisiera que me devolviera el alma
En la oscuridad, sola, la paz me falta

Ella que me observa, me corta con la mirada,
sin razon alguna desaparece de la nada,
inquieta te espero, me robaste el alma,
me quitaste el aire, me falta la calma

Yo que sueño, tu que esperas,
la vida me dara sorpresas,
y tu las cosechas

Ella que me observa en silencio me entierra,
vida que deseo,
amor que pierdo.

old stuff

this one was written by a friend to me,,, found it in one of my old
notebooks...thought id put here cuz i like it,

"If i could slip into your world, maybe then i could see
what you see, feel the way you do, but all's broken
and rotten
so i slip....
into the Void"


Raven

transpoiting

i become invisible
def from sounds around me
i feel the speed of the blood running throught my veins
i hear the slow beats of my heart as it shuts down
i feel no pain
black becomes the color that sorounds me
loneliness becomes my companion
i lost my wings
my back has the burned impure flesh of whats left of them
nothing is left
not shadows, nor lights
simple ashes on the ground that are blown away by the wind
the cold wind
she passes by so fast it cuts...reopening my wounds
all of this runs over and over again
turns into a sincronized dance i cant keep up with
but at the same time i do
untill i fade away..and reborn again

what ever

unbelievable how self involved you can be
apparently everything turns around you ?
im not going to be there to become part of that
i, like you have feelings , im no stone you can throw
so you can go **** yourself

seria eso posible?

como esperar que te comprenda si no me dejas cruzar tus barreras
no tengo intenciones tocar tus heridas , no me interesa lamer tus marditas llagas
simplemente quiero entrar, romper ese silencio eterno que siempre me impones sin preguntas
"siempre es lo mismo" me dices, yo no soy lo mismo
me juzgas y ni si quiera te sabes mi nombre completo
mis intenciones no son recojer tus mil y un pedazos
no estoy aqui para salvarte, no lo necesitas
de alguna manera quisiera ser parte de esa soledad que te rodea
seria eso posible?
entrar a esos profundos pensamientos que siempre callas
tejer esas telarañas que bajo tu alma guardas...

longing

once in a while , for a moment life just becomes meaningless
thoughts i sometimes quite dont understand slip throuhg my head
my mind is a dreamworld that not even i can understand
how can i expect you to do it
things that change, i never feel the same way
i always feel lost
it is simple beauty that distracts me
beauty i can never have only for me to keep
my lost unicorn
my so called "longing"
desires that inside me just break in to million pieces
because of that i loose
i always loose